Accceptance always longed for.

"And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may be with you for ever." John 14:16

 

 

The Holy Spirit, my Comforter so sweetly spoke to my heart today.

 

Because of my upbringing, spending years in foster homes or with extended family members, losing my father when I was 7 years old, being physically and sexually abused, and experiencing neglect : "I always felt the deep sense of lack of acceptance."

 

When I would go to live with a family, I had always hoped to be accepted "as part of the family". But that never happened. When I would do something to upset the family, I was quickly asked to leave. Mind you, none that I did was outrageous-just crying out for attention. But instead of helping , I was discarded. Each time it hurt, as if it was the first time.

 

What is "acceptance" mean to me?

Acceptance is : an abiding love

                         a sense of belonging

                         an identification

                        not forsaken

                        value placed

                        a welcoming heart

                        a forever kind of love

Acceptance, most definitely is an action that is engulfed with true love.

The Holy Spirit sweetly reminded me this morning that He, the Comforter....MY Comforter has engulfed me with His Acceptance the very day I gave my heart to Him on March 5, 1977. His love is abiding and forever!

 

What was so transforming for me this morning was this realization of His engulfing love toward me. I lave always longed for a love from my earthly parents that only could come from an eternal God.

I am now 50 years old with the deepness in my heart for that family love.

I saw today that that love and acceptance has been given to me 10 times over.

They are in the form of my most precious grandchildren.

James 1:17 says, "Every generous act of giving and every perfect gift is from above and comes down from the Father who made the heavenly lights, in whom there is no inconsistency or shifting shadow."

These beautiful grandchildren love their "Oma".

they identify with me as I am their "Oma".

They open their hearts to me.

They want to be around me

This kind of love can only be from my Comforter!

I am eternally grateful and full of His love!

Josiah, Jaelle, Enoch, and Elias(dob-12/29/2011- passed on 5/18/2012) Ivy

                                     Elle and Nora Rypstra with Catharina and Thor Rypstra

                                                         Aurora-Jane and Lucy Rypstra

   



Regarding my mom.

An update regarding my mom.
Praise God that she DOES NOT have breast cancer!
She was diagnoised with "Fibrocystic changes." Her tissue has changed enough to cause cancer-like symptoms.
We all feared that she had cancer, and are all grateful that she does not.
Cancer runs strong on my mom's side of the family , so the doctors will be watching her closely.

My hope and prayer, from a daughter's perspective, is that she will choose to live her life "as unto the Lord." Life is too short to live for ourselves.
I too am daily learning that lesson!
I don't want to live for my own pleasures, but I desire to live each day as a reflection of God living in me and flowing out of me!

My mom on the day of her biopsy. She is 72 years old.

Today is Sept. 6,2012
I am sitting at Brighton beach on the shore of Lake Superior, in Duluth.
This beach is one of my favorite spots to come and hang out.
I am here in Duluth because my mom is having a breast biopsy tomorrow.

As I sit at the beach, longing for peace and quite...time to mourn Elias, and time to pray for my mom. Well, this older gentleman comes along, lays on a rock at the water's edge(the rock in the picture above.) to cool his face off with the cold lake water. I found myself irritated at his presence. Then the Lord reminded me of a time when I was a child, that I washed my face off at that very same spot while laying across that very same rock!

I looked at the man, greeted him, then  and told him my rememberance.. He proceeded to share his memories of playing here as a child as well. Then he told me his mom passed away a month ago. He read her journals she left for him. In those journals she shared on how lonely she was iin her grieving after her husband died. How she had allot of friends, but at night and alone the grief overwhelmed her.

The gentelman then asked why I was here. I told him of my mom. I was not able to mention my anguished heart over the loss of Elias and the fear that the end may be near for my mom. I was afraid that the tears would be as deep as the Lake was.

Thank you for using that man to know that our grieving is universal and that You Lord, know my thoughts. I was surprised that the gentleman shared his heart so openly and in just a moments time, he was remembering his dear mom. I know I was there for that moment for that man, and that he was there for me. God knew we both needed to share our grief. I didn't even ask his name, nor did he ask me mine. I pray for this man...Lord make yourself know to him and please comfort him in his grief.

I am reminded of the scripture that says, "He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.

Emotions today are pushing me through the valley of sufferings that I am walking through.
Although I have two little cahrges to care for today(Elle and Nora), I am finding the the tears in my soul are very near the surface.

The trials I am walking through seem overtake me some days....other days I find that my faith in God's ability to get me out of this valley is much stronger than the pain in my heart.

Several years Don painted this water color....

I see this painting every time I walk into my bedroom. I am reminded of Psalm 23, which speaks so beautifully to my soul. Especially because of the death of our grandson Elias and the divorce my son is going through.

The valley seems so long....yet God is with me!



Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever.

My blog postings have been scattered. I have so much going on in my life, that I have decided that it is time to be more consistent in writing things down.

I also tweaked another blog site I started a few years ago. It is a blog that I will dedicate to being a Pastor's Wife. http://seasonedwisdom.blogspot.com/

These two blog sites will cross paths from time to time.

But this one(Theresa's musings) is more my personal reflections regarding my family life, and such.

http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=1QcMWTFsyauOA&cid=SFLYOCWIDGET

here is a link to the Rypstra Family artwork album that I will bring to the first Jelle Rypstra family reunion, in Canada. I compiled this from my photos. This is just a small collection from all of the artistic family members.